My Biggest Secret for the Ambitious, Perfectionistic Superwoman
In this video on How to gain Power and Productivity, I’m building on last weeks post ‘How To Chase Your Dreams And Still Pay the Bills’ where I talked about using the 80/20 rule in order to re-organise your life so that you gain more time freedom. If you haven’t read that post, go check it out now!
In that previous post, I gave examples of how to apply the rule for :
- The Employee
- The Business Owner
- The Student / Beneficiary (or a person getting income from some other source)
Today, I wanted to share with you, my special strategies for how to implement this rule in your life if you are The Superwoman (Mother / Wife / Housewife)
Note: This video is specifically aimed at people who are in a “family dynamic” type relationship i.e a couple / family you may be a wife or partner (or in some sort of defacto relationship)
How To Gain Power And Productivity
The back story to this is really about Me! There was a time where I was working so hard in my home business, well actually in my home AND in my business.
In my business I was hustling everyday, I was in these marketing programmes, meeting people, working hard, up all hours of the night trying to get my whole web presence done. I was multi tasking like a mad woman and then within the household, well you know what it’s like! You’ve got the kids, schooling, activities, birthday parties, groceries, meals to cook and your house to clean. I felt like I was doing so much and yet I was achieving so little! Sometimes it feels as though you’re holding the weight of the family on your shoulders and you can end up feeling like all you’re really good for is washing the dishes and cleaning the toilet. It’s just such a hard situation to be in!
I was getting so close to pulling it all together and achieving what I was striving for, and then I’d pull away again. I bet you may have been in the same situation too? And so this leads us back to the idea of breaking through the resistance you feel when you’ve hit your upper limit.
So What’s The Big Issue?
Really the issue is around a lack of self worth. If I am at home and my partner has been working in a paid job environment, for some reason there is this pressure around ‘What have I done all day?’ when he walks in the door! We start to question ourselves – “Have I done enough?” And it’s kind of ridiculous really!
It all comes back to making sure we’re valuing ourselves for the work that we do within the home and within the family.
How Did I Get Through this Problem?
There are 3 Key Points to remember:
1. This is a Team Game (Value yourself, Value your team members & work in collaboration)
The reality is that you are a team, you can’t get around that! You are so intimately, interconnected within your relationship that you are inevitably a team!
“The success of your application of the 80/20 rule to your life is dependant upon your ability to be a great leader and team player within your relationships!”. That means, you need to be valuing yourself. All great leaders value themselves, they have great self confidence. They fill themselves up so that they feel awesome. So you need to have strong self confidence within your family dynamic.
2. It’s not about the money, it’s about Value Exchange (Energy goes into the Family Dynamic and then Energy goes out to be put into the workforce).
Your partner might be the person who goes out and exchanges energy in the workforce so that energy can be returned in the form of money. If your partner is exerting energy outside of the family dynamic, there is a gap left within the family unit and YOU are the one that is left to continue to fill that gap with the energy it requires. They can’t survive if the place isn’t organised, if there is no food in the cupboard, if you can’t find anything that you need, if the children are unhappy.
The work that you do to maintain harmony within the family / home environment is of immense value!
3. It’s all about Self Worth (Value the role you play in filling in the gap that your partner leaves when they take energy from the Family Dynamic to put into the workforce).
It’s all about self worth. These superwomen – Mums, Wives, Housewives are forgetting to “fill themselves up first”. You are totally worthy of this! You can’t help anyone else unless you are filled up with goodness. It’s great to contribute time to community and causes but you really can’t do that effectively unless you are happy yourself FIRST!
What Do You Think?
Have you felt like you were running on a hamster wheel within your Family Dynamic? What did you do to move past that? Leave a comment so that other women can be impacted by your story!
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