5 Steps to Becoming a Happy Person others WANT to be Around
If you’ve been following along, it would’ve been hard to miss the fact that I was at Ricky Martin’s One World Tour concert in my home town of Hamilton, NZ last week – I didn’t hesitate to blast it out through all of my social media, as you do.
1 week ago exactly in fact, my sister, one of my closest girlfriends and I were schmoozing our way around the VIP function room sipping on our potent pinots and nibbling our fancy canapes, pinkies up in the air.
Not failing to Instagram every single thing from our concert tickets & wine glasses to the perfectly positioned pile of free merchandise with painted toenails peeping in for an appearance.
So we’d gathered a good 3 and a half hours prior to the start of the show for special VIP goodness (sound check, meet and greet, drinks and nibbles etc…) and we were mingling with a good 30 odd others who’d invested the extra dollars to enjoy these privileges. It didn’t take long at all before we were eyed up by a pair of attendees so I kindly opened the door to conversation with a genuine smile and some eye contact but before you know it – probably less than 15 seconds in, my sister and I (with no need for an exchange of words) found ourselves slowly moving sideways in our attempt to escape the dreadful interaction.
Well, me being the overly polite one, probably prolonged our exit unnecessarily where my sister was ready to straight up turn around and walk away!
What Made it Such a Turn Off?
It was a boring and mind-numbing negative vibe. What a killer.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think these people set out intending to be a downer, sometimes it’s just second nature or we might find that we’re really not being self aware! The conversation starter was “Oh, we were just wondering why you get pink font on your VIP bag when the rest of us have silver?” Being fresh to the interaction, we laughed and explained that they were looking at a reflection of pink within the silver that was coming off my dress!?!?!?! Ok funny mistake, … but then they swooped in with complaints about how seat numbers had changed at the last minute, how they had attempted to get a refund (for reasons they failed to explain) and then came their unfounded arguments revolving around their belief that they were the FIRST people in the entire arena to book tickets, and the inference that they were somehow warranted extra entitlements because of this. You know the personality type, you get them everywhere?
It was actually absurd to me that anyone could be worrying about such things when we had reason to be on the biggest high of our lives. I mean, it’s not every day an authentic ‘Carnevale’ rocks up to little old Hamilton and you get to meet Ricky Martin!
Worst thing, it wasn’t just these two, it became obvious to us that of the 30 or so people that were greeted so awesomely with the stunning merchandise packs, there were very very few that expressed their sincere thanks for it! People just lined up and swiped up – it was rather shocking!
Why is being Negative such a Turn Off?
Even if you’ve been wronged for no good reason, or you’re actually tending to a serious conflict, or you feel that there has been a clear injustice that you wish to share with others, there is still no good reason to spew your negativity on others.
There’s always room to resolve an issue in a professional and classy manner, put yourself back in the driver’s seat and then pivot back to positivity. And that’s how it should be done.
- Complaining or moaning doesn’t make us think less of the people being griped about, it makes us think less of the complainer.
- It’s energy sapping behaviour – especially in an environment where the majority of people are there for a good time, it’s disrespectful and self-centred to think that others are willing to sacrifice their high vibe for being in the presence of grumblers.
- People don’t trust you – they will think; if you’re so unreasonably negative towards others behind their back, what could you be saying about me?
Our Pivot Point
Of course, that situation had absolutely no impact on our night.
We MADE our experience the memory we wanted it to be and we were clearly on too much of a high to be in the same realm as anyone that would make an attempt at the old energy sucking game, but the observations were there for the taking.
The most hilarious one being the girl who wanted to complain about how our professional photo with Ricky would be emailed to us instead of given out in hard copy right then and there. And then the developing grievance about not knowing how to print photos and not owning a usb stick?!?! Are you for real girl?…
Ok enough of the mockery – that’s totally not the point! You want to know how NOT to be THAT person because being your most awesome self is the key!!!
5 Steps to Becoming a Happy Person that others WANT to be around
- Increase your Self Awareness – Am I being self-centred? What messages am I giving out to people by the way I am behaving? Am I seeing the glass as half full or half empty? How can I be more creative with the way I’m looking at this situation so that I can be positive about it?
- Be truly and whole-heartedly grateful – Exuding gratitude makes you shine! Really soaking up the moments you find yourself in and squeezing them of all the things you can think of that give you reason to smile… and doing this in every second of every moment is downright awesome! People LOVE to be around awesome people.
- Connect and Project – Be open, be confident and project your happiness out to others around you. Radiating openness and confidence is magnetic, it’s captivating and just plain attractive. People don’t want to risk trying to connect with someone who is closed up, self conscious or too inwardly focussed because today, time is money and people are making a gamble when they invest their time in connecting with you. They want to feel great themselves and if you can’t make yourself feel great, how can you help them to feel great?
- Speak well of everyone and everything – When it comes down to it, people want to be around others that make THEM feel good. When you view your interactions as a service to the world, you can gain so much purpose from the simplest of encounters. Know that your well wishes, your compliments and your genuine good nature will make a difference to someone’s life and don’t forget that sh*t comes back to you tenfold x
- Have fun! Well, this is it really… why are we doing anything if not to have fun? But aside from our own innate desire to feel good ourselves, having our own fun empowers others to do the same. As Marianne Williamson said:“Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were all meant to shine. As children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”
For more information about Relationship and Rapport building, see my post The Secret of Rapport Building (Part1) and (Part2)
So I’ll Leave you With That Thought
That we’re here to shine
When you focus on what’s great about life, and project that gratitude out to the world, making every effort to speak well of everyone around you, YOU will be the light that inspires others to become a better version of themselves. And in turn, you can only get back the wonderful things and opportunities that are in alignment with your high flying vibe (you’ll attract the best of the best!)
Have you been in a situation with a bit of an energy sapper in the past? How did you deal with it – let us know in the comments!
And go! Try these tips out, put them to practice…. And tell me how you go, I always love to hear from you xxx
Until next time!
P.S – A reminder that I’m launching ‘Take Off with Your Own Personal Brand’ VERY VERY soon… get on the waitlist for the lowdown if you’re interested click here
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